Does a New Love Equals to a New Iphone 4?

 

Losing the sparks seems to be a natural phenomenon in a long term relationship. As a matter of fact, most of these relationships experience an ebb and flow that is quite normal and to be expected. The normal ebb and flow of a relationship seems to involve at least three distinct stages: ``in love,'' ``out of love'' and ``wanting out.'' No doubt, some may still buy the idea of falling in love and living happily ever after, but the new generations seems to be taking things more easily. Love come and go in just a flash. The same applies to our love for a new gadget.

 

Well, just put ourselves in the picture, before buying our current phone, we took a survey, made some comparisons then finally, we picked 'the one’ that we wanted the most. As in a relationship. We chose 'the one’ whom we love the most.

The fun, passion and excitement leaves us hopelessly in love.

Then, we get used to our phone. The initial euphoria subsides. The phone now become a necessity, rather than something that we are proud of.

 While in a relationship, some may even go to the extend of describing the significant half as “a roommate”.

The new Iphone 4 finally (and officially) reached our shores. You may have your doubts and reservations. You want an Iphone 4 so badly but deep down inside, you’re more than comfortable with your current phone. Its just emotional desire thats playing a joke on you.

More often, when a new guy/woman comes into our lives and captures our heart, we have that same doubts and reservations. We couldn’t differentiate whether it is lust or love.  We enjoy the thrill of a chase when new ‘love’(or lust) appear in your life but at the same time we prefer the predictability that dictates life with your current squeeze.

Now that you've bought your new Iphone 4, and the inevitable (and vicious) cycle repeats itself over and over again...After all, they never seem to stop churning out those damn things.

As for your relationship, well, lets hope there's an app in your gadget to help you with that one.

Three Couples, Three Types of Relationship

For some couples, it may be a good idea to join an adventure trip together as it will help to strengthen-up the relationship. Somehow, for some couples, it may turnout to be a disaster to the relationship. Hence, often people said it is best for a couple to join an adventure trip or holidaying together to test the water first before they decide he/she were ‘The One’ for the rest of their life.

Throughout my journey to Mount Kinabalu recently, I had noticed three couples with three types of attitudes. It made me realized that everyone’s relationship is different and making comparisons is always pointless. To build-up a strong relationship, trust and congruence will always be the main ingredients.

The ‘supportive’ couple:
It was Jane’s first experience to climb Mount Kinabalu under the encouragement of her boyfriend, Tom. Jane wasn’t an active person and hasn’t she done any training for the climbing due to Tom’s last minute decision. During the journey to Mount Kinabalu, Tom accidentally sprained his knee and felt mountain sickness on the way up to Laban Rata. Despite the tiredness she felt, she supported Tom and continued walking up the hill until they reach their destination.

The next day after they reached Laban Rata, Jane felt both of her legs muscles were terribly aching but the time wasn’t allowed them to rest as they had to walk down the hill and get back to Timpohon again. Both Jane and Tom supporting each other, step-by-step walked down the hill and reach Timpohon safely.

The ‘traditional big-man’ couple:
Felicia and her boyfriend, Ken, had been going through training together, months before their journey to Mount Kinabalu. Ken had always be the leader who leads Felicia during the training. On the way up to Laban Rata, Ken had tried his best to take care of Felicia who was also a first-timer climbing up Mount Kinabalu. Unfortunately, Ken felt mountain-sickness when they reached 4km (another 2km from their destination). Felicia takes the role to take care of Ken and continued their journey. Felicia gave up on climbing to the peak of the mountain and chose to stay at Laban Rata to take care of Ken.

During their journey back to Timpohon, Ken wasn’t fully recovered but he insisted on carrying their bag and leading Felicia all the way down to hill. He showed his concerned towards Felicia and tried to ensure Felicia reached Timpohon safely.

The ‘independent’ couple
Jack and I were both a first-timer to climb Mount Kinabalu. We started from Timpohon together, leaving the other two couples far more behind. Half-way through our journey to Laban Rata, I left Jack at a resting point as he wanted to take a longer rest. Without noticing my speed, I walked alone and reached Laban Rata earlier than the time estimated. Jack reached alone after 40 minutes later.

Both of us continued our journey to the peak together during the midnight and stopped at 8.5km (0.2km away from the peak) due to the bad weather and my energy level. As both of our stamina was quite good, Jack and I walked separately most of the time and only observed each other to make sure we were safe and still in a good condition on the way back to Laban Rata. Jack wasn’t worried much about me as he had asked the ‘guide’ to take care of me until I reached Timpohon as I was totally out of energy on the way downs the hill. Only right after he saw his buddy, Ken, had been lending me a helping hands to go downs the hill from Laban Rata, he tried to take the lead and walked together.

It doesn’t really matter whether we had successfully reached the peak of Mount Kinabalu, the most important things is the trip had bring each of us a significant memory and a lesson that can never be forget.

What’s the trick that can turn anyone into your friend?

Talking to people has never seems tough. Some people said that no matter you are talking to a 3 years old kid or an 80 years old senior citizen, it will make no different if you own the communication skill. So, what’s the secret of the communication skill?

A friendly smile
The best way to break the ice is always by putting a warm and friendly smile while we talk. Once we smile, people will feel easier to approach us and talk to us. Very often, an unapproachable and cool look were created when we don’t smile, hence, strangers may find it hard to communicate with us.

Seek for common interests
Always probe for clues to the person’s interests and take times to analyze the people we are talking to. Our conversation will become smoother when we hit the “hot button”. People always love to talk to those who share the same interests as they do.

Make them feel good about themselves without being sarcastic
Most people need other people to ensure them that they are good and give them confidence. Sometimes, what we need to do in order to make them feel good when they are around us is just by giving them encouragement when they need it.

Always be positive about life
Nobody will love to be around people who are pessimistic and always complaining about how bad their life had been going. Our emotions were easily affected by the people around us. Therefore, if we are always optimistic and feel contented with our life, people around us will feel more relax and enjoy talking to us.

Use an appropriate language when communicate with different groups of people
Bear in mind that every group of people had their unique ways of communication. E.g. when we are talking to kids, often we shows a commanding way which will brings up a tense environment and make them felt hard to communicate with us. Hence, if we want to mix well with them, we must learn to speak in their language when communicating with them.

Nice men always finished last?

No doubts women nowadays are getting more financial independence as well as more careers minded. Many women may not settle down for anything less than the best. No longer had they felt the need to get married just because they had reached the marriage age.

Let’s Admit It: No matter how strong a woman shows, still she had her own weaknesses. At certain times, she still needs someone to support her. And yet she is still single. WHY?

Some of my friends are pretty, smart, capable and have the qualities which should have not kept them from being single. Somehow, they are still single and yet they always asked, “Where have all the dateable men gone?”

Story 1: DATING WITH THE NOT-SO-NICE LEFTOVERS
Kate, a 29-year-old manager, bumped into an Indian guy (let’s called him Mr. X) while she went to the gym for RPM classes. Mr. X got her contact number from the class’s registration sheet and started to texted her. Kate was curious to have received the text messages from a stranger; hence, she replied and asked for clarifications. Mr. X introduced himself as a 39-year-old ex-lawyer switching to be a businessman and insists on making an appointment to meet Kate in the gym. Out of her curiosity, Kate agreed to meet him. Kate wasn’t interested in Mr. X but wouldn’t mind of keeping him as a friend as he seems to be quite a gentleman after all. Therefore, Kate didn’t want to miss out the future possibility. Things gone worse when Mr. X sends tons of text messages to Kate everyday and Kate couldn’t even bother to reply. Mr. X turned out to be a stalker when he found out that Kate refused to accept his flowers and avoiding his text messages. Moreover, Mr. X started to lose his temper over Kate by sending her annoying text messages everyday, insisting that he was a good person who doesn’t even mind to be a homemaker and reminding Kate not to miss out the chances.

Lessons:
Guys being too aggressive and loses their patients in a short period of times is a totally turn off behaviors. Women can survived being single yet living happily and therefore, they would never allowed any men to threaten them for losing up a chance to settle down. Those men who claimed themselves as too-good-to-be-miss are always the not-so-nice leftovers; hence, it is always the right choice to eliminate them as soon as possible.

Story 2: DATING WITH EQUALLY-RIGHTS JERK
Vivian and Justin used to shared every of their expenses during their outings. Both of them were working in a listed corporate with a high-pay job. At the beginning stage, Vivian wouldn’t mind to pay her own shares of expenses. Soon as they proceed, Vivian moved-in into Justin’s house, Justin begins to divide every single cents of the household’s expenses equally and asking Vivian to pay. In additions, Vivian will have to do most of the household’s chores as Justin was always working overtime in the office. Also, she was only allowed to hang out with her girlfriends after she got the permissions from Justin. As times passed-by, Vivian realized that her expenses were getting higher, spending on some unnecessary stuff that Justin insisted on buying and she lost her freedom and happiness she used to have when she was single. She decided to break up with Justin and back to her single life. To her surprise, Justin requested to collect back all the gifts he had given to Vivian as it was paid by him.

Lessons:
It is a totally jerk’s behavior for taking back all the gifts given after a broke up. In a relationship, not everything can be divided equally, it is always give-and-take. Although women nowadays are more financially capable, they are not meant to be taken advantages of. It will always leave them with doubts to stay in the relationship for long term if everything were to be share equally. When a woman got pregnant, can the man split up the months of the child in the mother’s womb and share the pains?

Sometimes I wondered, if the phrases of “Nice men always finished last” is true, where do all this nice men gone? My girlfriends told me once, most nice men were either married or in a serious relationships, therefore, what’s left in the market are only the not-so-nice leftovers.

Perfect Partner

Often in our life we dream about the perfect partner. Some says God created humans in a pair, therefore, in order to complete our life, we have to find our significant others (Mr. / Mrs. Right).

Throughout the process of looking for our Mr. / Mrs. Right, we will always set-up a checklist of expectations. Some will go for the looks, some will go for the internal beauty and some will go for both. If we are lucky enough, we’ll have found our Mr. / Mrs. Right, if we are the unlucky ones, maybe we’ll have to work harder and keep searching.

Do I have a checklist? Hmmm…I think I have a checklist too…6Cs…No, no…you’re wrong. I’m not talking about cash, career, car, credit card and condo. These are my 6Cs:

Caring – someone who really care about me.
Comfortable – someone who can let me be myself.
Compatible – someone whom I can really talk to.
Career – someone who will strive hard for success.
Cash – someone who can provide me a simple life.
Condo – someone who can let me feel secure.

I guess it is not too much to ask, though. I only wish to have a simple life. Nothing much, but it’s always easier to be said than done. ‘What about looks?’, one of my friends asked. In my point of view, only people who had great personalities will seem attractive. It’s always our inner beauty that makes us glow. To me, beauty seems to be fragile, it’s just like a beautiful wrappers, what’s really counts is still the fillings. A beautiful girl or a handsome guy perhaps, will only catch our eyes at the first sight. For this, I’ve to admit that humans are always attracted to beautiful things. However, after some times, the speciality on their look will be gone, what’s keep them shining is still their inner beauty.

My conclusion:
Just be thankful if you are born with a decent looks but don’t be sad if you are not because the inner beauty you have will always makes you glow and overcome others. It’s not how you look that counts but is how you bring yourself. A person may not be beautiful/handsome but if they carried themselves with confident, they may catch your eyes too.

"BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, THERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL THAT LIES IN YOU…"